I’m not on here to stay sober from substances but to stay clean from self harm. But yesterday I had a pen that still had resin in it and I was so desperate to feel something so I put it in butter and ate it. It took three hours to kick in and it was the worst high ever. Feeling like I was gonna throw up, shaking/twitching, seeing things, and felt really anxious like the high was never gonna end. I had to sleep it off so I went to sleep at 9, woke up at 9am and all day today I’ve been kinda shaky, anxious, and my stomach hurts. Idk if I’m happy that I ate it cause I knew I was coming close to self harming again and this kinda numbed that feeling but also I’m worried about my physical health. I tried telling my friend about this and whole time I’m texting her shes telling me about how her gf is giving mixed signals and she wants me to do tarot reading for her when I’m just trying to tell her what happened to me. It’s really annoying when she keeps wanting me to do all these things for her when she can’t even listen to one of my story’s. Anyways I made two weeks clean but if I’m being honest I don’t think I’m making it to three weeks. Anyways thank you for reading my “rant” or wtv this is.