I’m writing this because I need to get it out. I have fallen back into the deep caves of alcohol. It’s not my first time here, but this time feels different. I’ve fallen into a deep pocket, and right now, I feel like I neither want to nor can get myself out. Life is heavy right now. Deep down, I know that drinking isn't the solution. I keep asking myself: Who am I? What do I actually want? Why am I doing this to myself? The honest, brutal answer is simple: I am terrified. I don't dare to face my problems or deal with life's challenges without alcohol. It has become my shield, even though it’s destroying me. Maybe I will be strong enough to handle it soon? Who knows. But honestly, right now, everything just feels completely hopeless. Thanks for listening.