Shout out to me. yesterday, I got to spend time with my kids and we did our treasure hunt, which was a lot of fun. My oldest daughter was supposed to come back and stay the night with me, but she’s been going through some things and struggling with depression and at the last minute told me she wasn’t going to come that she’d rather go home. She raised me. It had nothing to do with me, which did make me feel better, but it still hurts to see that she’s struggling. Also, even though I’m not upset with her about not coming, I was still upset that she didn’t come I was disappointed, felt rejected, and made me start having thoughts of me being a bad mother, and she just doesn’t wanna be around me all of which logically I know I’m not true, but the thoughts came just the same. It really made me want to drink like in that moment when she said she wasn’t coming the first thing I thought of was Mann I want a drink right now. And after I got home, I contemplated going to the store and getting just a tall can or two because I didn’t like how I felt. However, I stayed strong and didn’t do that because I reminded myself the reason I’m in the situation, I’m in is because of choices like that. So I’m really proud of myself for handling a difficult moment without giving in to old coping strategies of just drinking to numb the pain. Even though I dealt with it the best way by just crying it out, talking about it to other people doing deep breathing and journaling… I’m still struggling with cravings today even though I know I won’t act on them. I keep reminding myself of my wins: spending time with the kids, managing my emotions in a healthy way, and maintaining my sobriety.