I decided I really need to cut down . I quit for like 2 months but then I kind of relapsed and went crazy lost everyone but then gained more friends . But the reason I gotta cut down is because I get nothing done . I neglect myself , I'm more selfish and I'm more likely to do some reckless things that can seriously harm myself so that's why I need to cut down . I don't want to stop forever because it's a big part of my social life but I don't want to be going home and having suicidal thoughts or going out drinking too much and being a pain around people or getting taken advantage of . It's a cycle that I need to break . Quitting helped for a bit but I was doing other drugs to be honest . Alcohol seems to be the one to make me spiral . Other things I can use in moderation alcohol it's hard not to go over the edge for me . I drink to run away from my problems but all my problems are amplified instead I'm just unaware until the anxiety hits next day .