something in me snapped last night a lil before midnight (it’s 4:48am rn) i fell into a very deep, dark place that i wasn’t expecting to come back from emotionally / mentally, not like i have now when u restart a tracker on here it shows how long ur last streak was. 99 days…. that’s how far i fucking got…. but HEY, thank god for the support i have, the support i tend not to reach out to or put “my burdens” on - regardless of how much im reminded i can, how much im reminded i should. it’s so damn hard to be vulnerable. but it’s really made the last 5hrs and 36mins a lot lighter than the weight of the guilt, shame, and over all defeat i was carrying n expecting to feel, esp by now. plz, reach out to ur loved ones. u don’t have to get into it or pour ur heart out, sometimes it’s nice to just sit with someone other than ur thoughts. whether or not it’s in person, just to know ur not alone in this battle. i only wanted to share bcuz 1. i hate being vulnerable - and ik others do too but im telling u it really does help sometimes to let someone in 2. yes i made it to a lil over 3mo and am always there for others, but want to remind u tht u dont always have to be “strong” or live up to any certain expectations abt ur own timeline 3. relapse is a part of recovery, let’s normalize tht 4. j bcuz u restart one tracker doesn’t make the other(s) invalid, nor can u use it to justify resetting both. rmbr u are loved, supported, n always one call away from changing how u may feel at any given moment ❤️