The most dangerous place i can be is in my own head. So to feel safe i need to find an escape. For years its been alcohol, opiates before that, constantly fighting desires for the ultimate escape (suicide) or searching for some kind of control, even if it was just over m y own body. Things haven't changed by some miracle, I still battle these thoughts, but little by little I have found small routes through my mind to get to healthier places when I need to the most.