Hundredth time quitting. Losing purpose and joy in life. Realize most poor decisions made in last 10+ years had pot around it. Silent killer in my mind. Doesn’t always hit you right away, but as life progresses it slowly grabs you, pulls you down. Get nervous that it will never escape me. The mind is so witty, convincing me that a little bit once in a while will be suffice, once I feel better I forget the hurt, the pain. I want to live a clean life, experience true childhood joy again. Live as a child would before poor habits. -staystrongwise