I reach a week sober tomorrow. I’m proud of myself for slowly making progress and finding healthier ways to exist, but I woke up with a heavy heart today. The ways I’ve acted while black out drunk seem to be catching up to me today. I didn’t do terrible things but I know that I’ve messed up and exhausted some people in my life; I can feel them distancing themselves from me. I don’t blame them because they can only handle so much, but I feel insanely guilty and lonely today because of it. I don’t have many friends, I feel alone in my journey and even though I know that’s just my brain making things up and it’s not entirely true, I can’t stop the thoughts this morning. It’s 6:30 am so I know I have the whole day to work towards feeling better, and I’ll try, but everything just feels heavy. My body, my brain, I hope this isn’t me being so “woe is me”… I just feel like I need to get this out. I’ll get myself up and work towards a better day soon.